Can someone please edit my essay?
As a single mother, I have been confronted with, and have successfully overcome issues such as poverty, financial hardships, homelessness, and single parenting. Consequently, I have become committed to helping others achieve personal growth, as well as a state of general well-being. I have worked with individuals from diverse backgrounds, who were facing issues such as homelessness, living with a disability, aging, mental illness, and raising a child as a single parent. As a result of my own personal experiences, I am able to relate to the constant despair and frustration experienced by those who find it challenging to cope with everyday life. I am convinced that increasing one’s own sense of empowerment can make the difference between a future of despondency and one filled with hope.
I am applying to the Master’s in Social Work Program because it is a step toward pursuing my life’s mission: helping others in embracing their inner potential to make a positive life transition. Preparation to achieve my personal goal began while I worked at Harbor View Adolescent Center as a Youth Counselor. My primary work responsibility was to serve as a positive role model for adolescents between the ages of twelve to eighteen. The adolescents encountered issues such as physical and sexual abuse, abandonment, drug and alcohol abuse, bulimia, depression, and severe behavioral problems. At times, the position was extremely stressful, however, I discovered that I had the ability to connect with the adolescents and develop strong emotional ties. While working with them, I focused on several areas of treatment, including, social skills, vocational skills, and independent living skills. My main ambition was to help them build their self-esteem and improve their sense of security. As a youth counselor, I have gained valuable experience in listening to people, and helping them make positive decisions in order to improve the quality of their lives. My career goal specifically targets working with vulnerable and oppressed individuals, because I want to ensure that these groups of individuals have access to effective services, quality resources, and much needed guidance.
There are several aspects of my personal strengths that I can bring to the field of Social Work. I am highly caring in regards to individual needs and feelings. I have the ability to communicate effectively with people and listen to their needs as well. I also speak Spanish fluently and I can help meet the needs of Spanish speaking clients. As far as my administration abilities, I am very efficient with using a computer, reports, quarterlies, and paperwork documentation. I received an outstanding award for being a “Change Leader in 2008″ for improving the quality of lives of the adolescents that I serve. I am diligently making sure that each of their medical needs are met.
Social workers work to create a change towards equality, justice, human rights, and the well-being of all individuals. This includes, but is not limited to, the most helpless in society, the disadvantaged, poor, vulnerable and oppressed individuals. Social workers empower individuals with the tools necessary to achieve their goals and live their lives to the fullest. This is why I am going to devote my life to helping create a more equitable society. All individuals have a fundamental right to live decent, dignified, and productive lives, but society is structured in a way that not all individuals have equal access to food, housing, education and employment opportunities. As social workers, it is our responsibility to ensure that individual needs are met so people can be more self-sufficient and able to make the best possible choices for themselves.
Posted on June 12th, 2010 in Homework Help |
June 14th, 2010 at 3:49 pm
As a single mother, I have been confronted with, and have successfully overcome issues such as poverty, financial hardships, homelessness, and single parenting. Consequently, I have become committed to helping others achieve personal growth, as well as a state of general well-being. I have worked with individuals from diverse backgrounds, who were facing issues such as homelessness, living with a disability, aging, mental illness, and raising a child as a single parent. As a result of my own personal experiences, I am able to relate to the constant despair and frustration experienced by those who find it challenging to cope with everyday life. I am convinced that increasing one’s own sense of empowerment can make the difference between a future of despondency and one filled with hope.
I am applying to the Master’s in Social Work Program because it is a step toward pursuing my life’s mission: helping others in embracing their inner potential to make a positive life transition. Preparation to achieve my personal goal began while I worked at Harbor View Adolescent Center as a Youth Counselor. My primary work responsibility was to serve as a positive role model for adolescents between the ages of twelve to eighteen. The adolescents encountered issues such as physical and sexual abuse, abandonment, drug and alcohol abuse, bulimia, depression, and severe behavioral problems. At times, the position was extremely stressful, however, I discovered that I had the ability to connect with the adolescents and develop strong emotional ties. While working with them, I focused on several areas of treatment, including, social skills, vocational skills, and independent living skills. My main ambition was to help them build their self-esteem and improve their sense of security. As a youth counselor, I have gained valuable experience in listening to people, and helping them make positive decisions in order to improve the quality of their lives. My career goal specifically targets working with vulnerable and oppressed individuals, because I want to ensure that these groups of individuals have access to effective services, quality resources, and much needed guidance.
There are several aspects of my personal strengths that I can bring to the field of Social Work. I am highly caring in regards to individual needs and feelings. I have the ability to communicate effectively with people and listen to their needs as well. I also speak Spanish fluently and I can help meet the needs of Spanish speaking clients. As far as my administration abilities, I am very efficient with using a computer, reports, quarterlies, and paperwork documentation. I received an outstanding award for being a “Change Leader in 2008″ for improving the quality of lives of the adolescents that I serve. I am diligently making sure that each of their medical needs are met.
Social workers work to create a change towards equality, justice, human rights, and the well-being of all individuals. This includes, but is not limited to, the most helpless in society, the disadvantaged, poor, vulnerable and oppressed individuals. Social workers empower individuals with the tools necessary to achieve their goals and live their lives to the fullest. This is why I am going to devote my life to helping create a more equitable society. All individuals have a fundamental right to live decent, dignified, and productive lives, but society is structured in a way that not all individuals have equal access to food, housing, education and employment opportunities. As social workers, it is our responsibility to ensure that individual needs are met so people can be more self-sufficient and able to make the best possible choices for themselves.
June 17th, 2010 at 5:03 pm
As a single mother, I have been confronted with, and have successfully overcome issues such as poverty, financial hardships, homelessness, and single parenting. Consequently, I have become committed to helping others achieve personal growth, as well as a state of general well-being. I have worked with individuals from diverse backgrounds, who were facing issues such as homelessness, living with a disability, aging, mental illness, and raising a child as a single parent. As a result of my own personal experiences, I am able to relate to the constant despair and frustration experienced by those who find it challenging to cope with everyday life. I am convinced that increasing one’s own sense of empowerment can make the difference between a future of despondency and one filled with hope.
I am applying to the Master’s in Social Work Program because it is a step toward pursuing my life’s mission: helping others in embracing their inner potential to make a positive life transition. Preparation to achieve my personal goal began while I worked at Harbor View Adolescent Center as a Youth Counselor. My primary work responsibility was to serve as a positive role model for adolescents between the ages of twelve to eighteen. The adolescents encountered issues such as physical and sexual abuse, abandonment, drug and alcohol abuse, bulimia, depression, and severe behavioral problems. At times, the position was extremely stressful, however, I discovered that I had the ability to connect with the adolescents and develop strong emotional ties. While working with them, I focused on several areas of treatment, including, social skills, vocational skills, and independent living skills. My main ambition was to help them build their self-esteem and improve their sense of security. As a youth counselor, I have gained valuable experience in listening to people, and helping them make positive decisions in order to improve the quality of their lives. My career goal specifically targets working with vulnerable and oppressed individuals, because I want to ensure that these groups of individuals have access to effective services, quality resources, and much needed guidance.
There are several aspects of my personal strengths that I can bring to the field of Social Work. I am highly caring in regards to individual needs and feelings. I have the ability to communicate effectively with people and listen to their needs as well. I also speak Spanish fluently and I can help meet the needs of Spanish speaking clients. As far as my administration abilities, I am very efficient with using a computer, reports, quarterlies, and paperwork documentation. I received an outstanding award for being a “Change Leader in 2008″ for improving the quality of lives of the adolescents that I serve. I am diligently making sure that each of their medical needs are met.
Social workers work to create a change towards equality, justice, human rights, and the well-being of all individuals. This includes, but is not limited to, the most helpless in society, the disadvantaged, poor, vulnerable and oppressed individuals. Social workers empower individuals with the tools necessary to achieve their goals and live their lives to the fullest. This is why I am going to devote my life to helping create a more equitable society. All individuals have a fundamental right to live decent, dignified, and productive lives, but society is structured in a way that not all individuals have equal access to food, housing, education and employment opportunities. As social workers, it is our responsibility to ensure that individual needs are met so people can be more self-sufficient and able to make the best possible choices for themselves.
June 19th, 2010 at 7:45 am
It’s not bad, but overall I would make one major suggestion: get rid of all the passive voice (form of the verb “to be” such as: is, am, were, was, have and had.
For example, instead of “My main ambition was to help them build their self-esteem … ” say “By helping them build their self-esteem, I achieve my may ambition…”
Getting rid of passivie voice will force you to write more descriptively with action verbs instead of “I am” blah blah blah.
“It is raining.” How exciting.
How about: “Rain fell from the dark sky.” Much better.
See my point?
June 19th, 2010 at 5:37 pm
It’s too difficult to edit a full essay on this site. Let me give you a couple of hints and maybe you can see similar changes.
In the first sentence you use “single mother” and “single parenting.” Drop the last one.
You use past tense too much. “I have become committed …” Instead, say “I am committed …
Use paragraphs to break the visual.
Cut the verbage …”This includes, but not limited to, …” Don’t interrupt. Delete “… not limited to …”
And … “This is why I am going to devote my life …” Drop the “This is why..”
Some good stuff. Streamline it.
Good luck.